Backcountry Notes

Does anyone else have a hard time figuring out what Barack Obama's catchy statements mean? Something that makes such translation particularly difficult is Obama's frequent use of the royal "we," that is, saying "we" when the context indicates "I" or "us" when the context indicates "me." So I'm not sure in the first place what "We are the change we seek" means. It gets worse when I try to figure out what he means by "we." "I am the change we seek," maybe? Or "I am the change I seek?"

"Yes, we can!" Yes WHO can? And, yes who can WHAT? This stuff has good flow and, like an advertising jingle, it's easy to remember, but does it mean anything?

Another one: "We are the people we've been waiting for." We who? "I am the person you've been waiting for?" Well, why not . . . that makes just as much sense as anything else. Of course, if John McCain said something like "I've been waiting for me, and now here I am," the Obamacrats would react with scathing "senile old man" criticism.

My curiosity got the better of me, so I called on my friend "Brainiac," who lives a rather monkish existence with his bank of computers and is barely aware that there is such a thing as politics. "Bray," I said, "what, if anything, does this Obama doublespeak mean?" He promised he would run several Obama speeches through his symbolic logic program and give me an answer real quick. Time passed and Bray wasn't answering his phone or responding to his e-mail, so I went to his house and found it locked up tight, shades drawn on all the windows, and a "no trespassing" sign on the front door. I knocked on the door and heard a muffled voice saying, "Go away!"

Not to be deterred, I knocked again and shouted "It's me! I just want to know what kind of answer you got on the Obama speeches! I really need to know what they mean!" For a minute, I heard footfalls and the rustling of paper, then the door opened a crack - - I could see heavy chains in the opening - - and a hand thrust out a folded piece of paper. "Now go away!" shouted the wraith formerly known as Brainiac as the door slammed shut. I heard heavy bolts slide into place.

The paper was a computer printout.

On the page were written two words: "Trust me."

Well, I'm off to the hardware store for door chains and bolt locks. Have a nice day!