Backcountry Notes

Corn Man was found yesterday morning, bereft of life.  Foul play was immediately suspected.

A popular figure in the neighborhood, "Cornie" had last been seen the previous evening strolling down the sidewalk carrying a parcel.  The police at first assumed that he had perished in a robbery gone wrong . . . but soon a more sinister theme emerged.

The scene of the crime

Pumpkin ManSuspicion began to center on Pumpkin Man, a long-time rival who had once declared Corn Man to be a "charlatan and a fraud." Pumpkin Man often claimed that he is "the true spirit of Halloween." "Pumpie" was taken in for questioning, but then he was released from police custody when a young woman of his acquaintance, Squash Blossom, provided an alibi for "the whole night long."

Straw punksThe authorities then began inquiries into the activities of the Straw Punks, a group of rowdies who had been observed in the vicinity on the night in question, carrying rolls of toilet paper and cans of silly string.  The investigation came to a sudden halt, however, when the medical examiner returned an initial finding of "acute alcohol poisoning." According to the M.E., "Cornie just got too happy and had too much of them good corn squeezins."

Friends and family are planning a roast in Corn Man's honor.